Dancing Away with My Heart
by FreshlyJuicedBeetles
Summary: You realize Severus is going down a path you can't follow.


I wore my best dress and my heart was breaking.

It was our graduation dance. The Great Hall was enchanted to look like the night sky with a large harvest moon. It put _Starry Night_ to shame with the vibrant blues and billions of twinkling stars. Dumbledore had suspended curfew and allowed all years to attend saying, "Everyone deserves to say their goodbyes and goodbyes should not be rushed when helped." So, while Narcissa Black looked like a gorgeous porcelain doll, first years were running around on a sugar high celebrating their first night of independence.

Severus and I had been dating for nearly a year at that point. Beforehand, I had had a crush on him for several weeks, the mysterious boy who rarely spoke. I knew he was with Lily Evans, even if they were just friends, but it didn't take much to see that there was more going on, so I kept my interest to myself. When they 'broke up' I saw my chance and swooped in. In my heart, I knew I was something of a rebound for him. I had heard what he called Lily, but I didn't believe it.

Then, I started to. I saw the signs. He was obsessed with the Dark Arts; nothing was off-limits for him. He became vengeful. I knew I had to break up with him. I just didn't know when or what to say. I didn't want to hurt him. I already felt bad for him. He had a terrible home life and was bullied mercilessly. I was afraid of adding to the fire, but I knew this boy was going down a dark path. I didn't want to be a part of it. I really didn't want to break up with him. He was my first real love.

I loved how unsuspecting he was. No one would believe how tender he could be or how brave he was. He was intelligent, but not in the effortless sense. He worked for his skills. He was quietly passionate. He kissed me as though he was leaving for war. I had given Severus everything, my heart, my love, my time, my first real kiss, my virginity. I loved how he would hold my hand under the tables of the Great Hall. He would check up on me when I was sick. He'd take as many chewy chocolate chip cookies that always managed to stay warm and gooey as he could take for me because they were my favorite and they weren't served that often. I loved how he'd help me with my homework even though I could tell he'd rather be doing anything else because he didn't want me to stress.

Eventually, I ran out of time. I had to break up with him on our last night at Hogwarts. I hated that I had to do it after graduation when the future looked so bright. It was like breaking up with him on his birthday. After awkwardly sitting at a table for most of the dance, Severus asked me to dance during a slow song.

Just this one dance and I'll do it, I remember telling myself. I wanted to remember the way he looked in his borrowed robes from Lucius, his seventeen-year-old looks, his deep, dark eyes which I swore he could read my mind. I needed to remember the way he moved me to the music and the feel of his arms around me and mine on his shoulders, for the rest of my life. I knew this was the last time.

I put my head on his shoulder as we swayed to the music. I just wanted time to stop.

We stayed like that until he pulled away, but just barely. Severus brushed my hair back, looking into my eyes. He leaned in to kiss me. Tears began to fall from my eyes, knowing it was the last. I was just a seventeen-year-old girl. I had never experienced anything like this. This wasn't just a silly breakup, this was an 'I have serious concerns about my partner' breakup.

He pulled away when he felt the tears come between us, "What's wrong?" he asked.

I took his hand until I found a secluded corridor. My heart was pounding in my chest and my skin tingled with nerves.

"I'm worried about you," I announced.

He said nothing.

"Let me see your arm," I said.

Severus took a step back, hiding his left arm behind his back.

"What? Are you hiding something from me?" I goaded.

Again, he said nothing.

"Show me your arm, Severus." I practically begged, tears nearly obscuring my vision.

A moment past, then he bestowed his covered arm. I pulled up his sleeve.

I didn't gasp when I saw his arm. I didn't recoil in shock. I knew it was there. He dropped his arm.

I shook my head, "Have mercy on your soul. I don't think you know what you just did."

I allowed myself one last look at him, then turned to leave.

"Wait!" He called, running after me. He caught my arm.

"Let me go, Severus! I don't want to see you ever again!" I yelled, ripping my arm away.

I didn't see him again.

I had always wondered what had happened to him. I thought about him from time to time, when I was alone during a harvest moon. I wondered if he missed me. He stole my heart that night and I don't think he ever knew. Then when I came back to Hogwarts to teach a symposium on lyricism, I saw him. There he stood, still tall, dark and roguishly handsome. My dormant love for him returned tenfold.

* * *

Notes: I hate that Hogwarts doesn't celebrate graduation! Based on 'Dancin' Away with My Heart' by Lady Antebellum


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